Maybe im not all that ugly after all !

well.. you all know how it feels to have doubt.. ? well if not ..you ll exsperice it! =D
Ive had alot of DOUBT in my life because ..i dont like what i see in the mirror... I always think.. something isn't right bout me.. or im just not that pretty.. why would any guy in their right mind want me?
(after all ive been told all my life by various people i wasnt pretty.. or i was fat!?.. so why not have the doubt?) soo Ive been so self Contious... about my fat!... (which no matter how hard i try i cant seem to lose it!) Well ive tried things that make me look smaller .. n ive actually tried using make up..! YOu know.. when i was in 6-8thgrade.... i didnt wear makeup! I looked like a tom boy! my brother would always make fun of me because i wasnt pretty enough! but who cares now right? well anywho.. i started using makeup.. at the end of 8th grade year.. and ever since then.. ive actually been able to get me "sometimes" a decent guy! However.. even thou im still self conscious... I still think its a bit hard to ask out some guy!...you know those hot preppy guys or those girls you just think "o my geezz.. hes/shes cute...." you wanna do somthing like ask him or her out ..but your to afraid or you just cant do that... well Thats totally me! Like now... My best guy friend, who i thought was cute... i found out actually liked me! (but i found that out when i moved away) I mean ya.. i would always hug him and he would like hold me tight.. which i would always smile.. and say i missed you ...or somthing along that nature... but i never told him how i feel.. ..Until .. last night.. Its kinda weird saying that too your bestguy friend but yet i knew it was the right thing to do... I fell the  chills .. lol but when i talk to him i couldnt help but smile! When He falls asleep on me and then he wakes up and says "omg i feel like a jerk ,im sorry for falling asleep.. " you know you cant be mad at that lol =D
 Its crazy how you can hide somthing from someone and them not even know exactly what you feel.. by just showing them a lil facial exspression... Its just crazy.. and now that i know that he likes me back... ive never smiled so much haha =D
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